I'm finally cooling off. And not just because it's 95 degrees outside and it still technically the morning...it's because today we were going to have a fun morning with our friends Erin & Liesel at the zoo...and it turned out to be a scream fest. I love my little girl to pieces but she can be so frustrating. My first mistake was letting her out of the stroller because she kept whining. She wanted to walk, but not at our pace so it made it unbearably slow. She got tired, so she wanted me to carry her. I try to put her back in the stroller but alas, that's when the tantrum began. So, to avoid looking like the crappiest mother of the year, I carried her to keep her quiet. Finally my arms are burning from her weight and I am sweating in places that shouldn't sweat. I try to wrestle her back in the stroller. Her world comes crashing down and she loses it. Screaming, crying, thrashing, hitting, you name it. Some woman in too loud pants walked by and casually commented, "they never want to go back in once they get out of the stroller." Thanks lady. You just keep walking.
Since we were at the furthest point from the exit, we had to endure the screaming and crying all the way back to the entrance. I got several looks, but honestly, I just kept walking and acted like nothing was going on. She finally fell asleep as we were leaving.
I know she was tired, and she was probably hot. But she wouldn't drink her water or just lay back to relax. I basically have no idea how to handle this and/or discipline in public. It might help to figure it out since this happens almost every single time we go out and do something fun. I don't want to be scared of my child's tantrums but at the same time I don't want her to ruin all the fun things we could be doing with friends.
You know you have some advice. I'm askin' for it.
5 comments:
Ugh! So frustrating when they do that! I'm so sorry! I'm pretty sure every mother out there sympathized with you. No fun!
You are a great mother, Erin. I don't think anyone doubted you. I didn't and Liesel and I still had a good time walking around the zoo with you gals. As far as advice, I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes I don't think you can do anything but just put them down for a nap.
Ugh, I can SO sympathize with that! Lily is one who doesn't sleep when she's out and about, and she gets really cranky without naps, but I've found a few things that work for her.
First of all, around 18 months I found it so helpful to fully prepare her for what was going to happen in any situation. She's a bit type A, so I would have to say "We're going to the Kroc Center and I'm going to drop you off at play care and go to my class, and then come back to get you. You can do (give her a few options of activities) at play care, but when I leave, you're not going to cry." And I would go over this several times before each time, and now we have no drop off problems. It also helps when we're out and about for her to know where we're going, where we're going to eat/play/nap etc. and what her expectations are (stay in the stroller/ get out to look at stuff, but get back in etc.) and that helped a lot.
I have some back problems, so when I was pregnant and even now, it would hurt to carry her a lot, so I explain that my back hurts and I can't carry her. When we were in CA recently, she wanted to be carried a lot but we weren't going to carry her all day every day. So most of the time we'd tell her that she had the option to walk or stroll. (and if she walked she HAD to keep up) At age 3 it worked well, but I understand that when they're younger it's a little tougher.
As far as discipline in public goes, I do a lot of stern talking-to's. We're also spankers around here, so I often have to explain to Lily (in my usual pep talk) that we're going to this place and I expect XYZ of her in the behavior department, and if she doesn't obey, then they have a bathroom there where we can go spank her. So now all I have to tell her is that they have bathrooms where we're going and she knows what that means. Rarely do I have to utilize "The Bathroom" but when she misbehaves or starts being fussy, I always give her the option of obeying or going to the bathroom to get a spanking, that way it's her choice. She *usually* chooses obey. :)
Anyway, I know it's hard to figure out what kind of boundaries you can have in public and when to discipline, and when to just remove them from the situation. I'm sure you'll do AWESOME!
I can completely relate! Ella & I have definitely battled in public and I absolutely hate it. Why is it that it makes us feel like bad moms? Everybody else deals with it too, right? Grr... Anyways, I just started reading a book called "Parenting with Love & Logic for Early Childhood" and am loving it! When I actually remember to try the technics, Ella and I don't butt heads nearly as much. Hang in there!
Liv does the same thing. Once she's out she does NOT want back in so I just try not to let her out of the stroller until the end and then hurry to the car on the way out to the parking lot with a screamin babe! You're a wonderful mommy!
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